Sunday, November 26, 2023

a week of cake

I swore off cake and ice cream when I joined a weight loss program with real money involved. They insist there's no bad food, just moderation, but for the psychologists they claim to be, they don't recognize obsessive compulsive food addictions replacing a lifetime of other addictions. I cannot say yes to either cake or ice cream in moderation the same way an alcoholic cannot say yes to a casual drink once in awhile. 

They also don't recognize the difference between stress and 

STRESS.

So here's my stress list reaching back over the last 3 months and still ongoing.
  • Cervical facet arthritis flare.
  • Trapezius fibro flare.
  • Ragweed/grasses allergy season extended because I wound up in Texas.
  • Son in law dx'd and fast tracked surgeries for genetic endocrine cancers.
  • His mother same cancers metastasized stage 4.
  • His 2 autistic kids and housekeeping under my care while my daughter supports/survives all this right after her own third emergency surgey.
  • My own cancer testing on hold through this.
  • Being away from my husband, also with cancer, through all this.
  • Trading houses for 2 big holidays with completely different routines.
I may not be able to correct that extreme indentation on mobile.

Also notate my food allergies, so holiday eating isn't as pleasant as it could be, especially during a big scary surgery going on.

So I made a cake. And ate half of it.

I craved alcohol (30+ years sober), so if my weight loss app can't celebrate my victory with me, that's their food neurosis. I did fine with no cake at all for nearly 6 months.

Happy holidays. Everyone struggling, I feel ya.


Sunday, November 19, 2023

yes, meringue

If multiple timelines can coexist as wave forms (think double slit experiment where electron passes thru both slits), do rippling time wave arcs also pass thru/over each other? (As we see on ponds.)

If a quantum computer can 'see' all times as now, can it artificially manipulate multiple time/reality waves to interact? 

If there had been many more slits, would the electron have waved thru all of them? Do 'realities' wave thru each other all the time? (What is coherency?)

Phasing = waving? 

Scott and I were watching an oldish movie earlier this autumn that we couldn't quite remember having watched before, but it seemed familiar. We kept trying to nail down about how long ago we'd seen it while obvously not having seen it, wondering if it felt 'off' because it had been so long, maybe we weren't remembering right because so many scenes felt wrong or changed somehow, when suddenly we both simultaneously reacted strongly to a scene that we instantly remembered, no doubts. The arrangement of other scenes around that one, the slightly off lines or the completely wrong actor here or there only validating that one perfectly remembered scene. We paused the movie and started looking things up, and what blew us away was finding out it was produced in 2012, while we were feeling like it had been much longer ago than that, more like earlier 2000s. Once that scene caught our attention the rest of the movie seemed so surreal. Both of us remembering it the same way and yet it not existing that way with no tangible way to prove we had experienced something that evidently couldn't have happened that way really blew our minds, moreso because we corroborated each other's memories. That had never happened to us before. And no, it wasn't anything like 'remembering' a piece of advertising or misremembering something. We watched it years before IMDb says it was released, and every scene that was wrong drove us crazy because we remembered that one scene like solid rock.

2012 was the year that our lives changed. It was the year of the night of the near miss that should have undoubtedly killed us, two cars hurtling at each other in the dark at a combined 120 mph, if math problems in school really work. The moment was so immediate and vivid that there was no time for thoughts of any kind. We both automatically accepted we were dead in the next few moments, and when it didn't happen we continued in a state of shock the rest of the way home. I told Scott after we walked in that it was like Barbara and Adam first walking in the door in Beatlejuice, and I asked Scott if we were dead and just came on back home.

So where is God in all the time smashing, if there is such a thing?

Maybe it's not what we think.


This is part of the artwork decorating walls in rooms in a certain hotel family.


I was staring at it when I couldn't sleep one long, tired day. That's when 'time, times, and half a time' came into my mind.

Original 'time' was one thing for all the world. Each region had its own culture history, of course, but for the most part, a day was a day, a season a season. Everyone could grasp that.

Then time broke or shifted into local calendars. Times became their own entities apart from day and season. History established as reigns. (Funny word, reign.) Effective commerce and war depended on proper calendar conversion. The world was gathered into an eye of a storm, perhaps, which globalized and synchronized all movement on the plane-t. Staging histories to control times became an overarching goal. Half a time? The top of the artwork is quarter sectioned, the bottom is a whole half, united. I feel like I'm reading a language made of artwork.

That was then, this is now. That's how things were, this is how things are now. Everything NOW depends on THEN. 

Those could be tree rings in the center. A tree ring concept, perhaps.

God meters out the parameters of the then-now before the prince of this world's TIME is over.

Imagine trying to use 'time travel' to invert the world on itself so that time can't end. We see stories about time being harnessed into a chaotic all-time in the 12 Monkeys series (the red forest) and in Doctor Who when Eleven married River Song, who was born Melody Pond. Everything around River was about turning time inside out to create fixed points that the Doctor couldn't enter into to change anything.

Fixed chaos. Frozen time. 

Time layers. I used to thing of it as whipping up a meringue, stretching the egg (world) strings longer and longer like a big  marshmallow until histories could no longer be untangled and everything anywhen became the norm.

Time storms. Maybe they really happen, who knows.

But back to God. I am by no means attempting to interpret or define prophecy. God owns everything and allows things for reasons we can't fathom, one being to absolutely demonstrate He is Lord to the great dragon, whose tail swept a third of the stars with him. The measurement of times might mean more than we presume is what I'm saying. Time wars show up in several works of fiction. No matter how badly the enemy screws up humanity and this world, God will patiently wait till all true believers are found and gathered in before He is done and it's all over.

Not saying I can guess at the enemy's plans, as well, but it's clearly to do us all harm.

I wandered back into these thoughts tonight after cruising a reddit thread about the negotiable/non-negotiable physics of Marty changing/looping/repeating reality and which version whatever. It's all the same, a big pudding of perspective(s). 


~~~~~~~~~~


I'm actually house-sitting /babysitting for a month while my son-in-law gets thru a very complicated emergency surgery, and my mind is sleepless oatmeal. I'm the aging world weary driftwood of hypothetical academia waiting to meet my God.

Back to gaming. At least it keeps me outa trubbas.

Love you guys. You always find me. This is my way beyond not enough sleep all week face. 




a week of cake

I swore off cake and ice cream when I joined a weight loss program with real money involved. They insist there's no bad food, just moder...